“I do it myself!” These words ring in my mind as my little girl rides off on her bike.

No, she hasn’t said it like that recently.  I remember when she was little, and she wanted to do it herself.  She would tell me firmly, “I do it myself.”  Then if it didn’t work out just as she had planned she would progress to yelling in exasperation, “I do it myself!”

Some things in life change as we grow older.  For instance, we can actually use correct grammar, if we desire, when voicing our frustrations.  Other things do not change.  The feeling that we need to shout, “I can do this myself!” from time to time.

Even though we won’t likely eliminate that human desire to think that we do things ourselves, we can mature and learn to acknowledge others influence in our accomplishments.

Mary Ellen learned to ride a bike last week.  Please don’t judge.  Maybe it should have happened sooner. However, I completely understand having grown up in the country.  She went to play at a friends’ house in town.  They taught her to ride all by herself!  She was so excited!  She told me her friends taught her to ride without help.  I was pleased to hear her give someone else credit in her accomplishment.

We have been on this circle about who is responsible for your actions.  In some instances, the only one responsible is you.  You chose to respond hatefully or to do something wrong.  The only one responsible is you.  You made a bad choice.  Even though, you can’t change it.  You can apologize.

Wrong! I made a mistake. I realized this when she apologized and then did the same thing again.  Then she simply said, “Sorry.” The process continued until she and I got to this explanation. You must accept responsibility.  You must apologize.  You must change your actions in the future.  The proof that you are sorry for making a bad choice is not to choose it again.  Now, that is where the rubber meets the road!  That gets hard.  Actually, down right impossible.  I then had to explain that we all mess up.  We all mess up the same way even when we know it is a bad choice.  We have to keep trying to do better.

Another part of who is responsible for our actions is when we accomplish something wonderful. Big or small, we all have a tendency to want to declare to ourselves and others, “I did it!”  At Mary Ellen’s first fiddle contest last weekend, she wanted Charles to speak into the microphone for her.  Charles told her, “You have to do it.”  At the end of the day, each of us has to do it.  Yes, we are responsible for ourselves.

Now it gets fuzzy on the living well part.  Yes, Mary Ellen ultimately had to ride her bike.  However, her friends helped her learn.  Love that she saw their contribution!  Generally, it is not one instance.  Rather it is a process.  Riding her bike was no different.  When she was little, she wanted to ride a bike like her big brother.  She rode her plasma car.  Then she rode a little tricycle. Then she rode a John Deere big wheeled tricycle.  Now, that thing would go fast and go anywhere.  Then she got a bicycle with training wheels.  This learning process took lots of practice on her part.  It also took lots of time from her dad, her brother, and me.  Now, she can ride her bike ALL BY HERSELF!

This lesson is bigger that you and me.  We are God’s children.  He created each of us.  He watches over us.  He puts others in our lives.  He participates each step of the way.  He never leaves us.  So the truth is, “I can’t do this myself.  I didn’t do this myself.  If I want to continue, I must not try to do it myself.”  Everyone and every experience, good and bad, in my life brought me to where I am today.  Yes, I am responsible. Moreover, I am grateful.  There is always more to me than just me.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17