Sunday in morning service we sang “The Battle Belongs to the Lord”.  As I stood next to Mark singing, it was the first time in over 8 years that my throat didn’t get tight with tears being pushed back to stop a flood.  You see, every time I sing that song, I travel back to leaving the sanctuary at the end of my daughter’s funeral.

I picked the song.  I meant every word of it.  Even when tears flood I believe the truth of that song.  You see, I could have done many things different.  I could have let hate consume me.  I could have let blame destroy me. I could have shut myself off from those who loved me and her.  I needed & still need frequent reminders that God has this.

Now, I am going to tell you straight up, there were & are days that are far less than perfect.  Little things generally bring the most emotion.  I never know exactly what will trigger the tears & the memories.  I have shut friends out.  I have felt hate.  I have blamed.  Almost exclusively all of these reactions were aimed at myself.

However, God alone sent all of the blessings in my life.  He created me.  He placed me with my family who loves me.  He gave my husband.  He created my children.  He created my friends & heavenly angels here on earth to walk with me.  We are His & His alone.

This battle is not against this world.  My battle is a heavenly battle.   This is a spiritual battle.  Jesus overcame the sting of death.  The Evil One would be served if I turned from my family, my friends, my church, my faith.  You see I have to hand it over to God.  I have to humble myself before Him.  I have to let Him be my God.  That in turn means that I have to let those around me, that He sent to me to daily walk by my side, be with me on my journey.

So, “Thank you” to all those who have walked any & all of this with me.  Whether I ever told you directly or not, I know that I am blessed.  I see images from the hospital.  I see faces from the group gathered outside on the grass.  I appreciate that you prayed for us when all I wanted at that moment was to disappear.  Thank you for coming to my house.  Thank you for coming to the Church.  Thank you for enduring my tears.  Most of all thank you for being my strength.  You see in my eyes you are & were my Jesus.

“The Battle Belongs to the Lord”, thank goodness!

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way where I am going.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14: 1-6

“However, as it is written:  “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him—” 1 Corinthians 2:9